Oops? / I waited till my flowers withered. / Dear Lee Pace,I must confess that I currently have... / Justification by feeling / Humour for you / There is only do. / Grace is not a license to sin / Zombie Apocalypse / Day 0.5 / One of those days /

:: Tuesday, October 05, 2010 ::

Me

Apropos to being sick and not in the mood for marking, I've been re-reading my blog in an attempt to ... skive off work. And then the realization hit me that personality-wise I'm still exactly the same person I was 8 years ago. Perhaps a little less flighty, perhaps a little more cautious, but I'm still an idealist.

This makes the results of the Myer-Briggs test I took a few weeks back less surprising. All the tears, depression and sadness I've ever felt stem from the disparity between reality and my high hopes for the world and the people in it. You'd think I'd be a little more cynical by now, but alas... it seems as if each setback has only served to make me cling even more tightly to the possibility that there's some kind of happy ending.

Now, if I were a gambler, this would be terribly naive behaviour - to continue gambling over and over again because I think: Surely the next game will be the big pay-off! I'm prone to throwing myself into situations because of dreams rather than cold rational thought. All in all, it's a kind of mystical, magical thinking that "It'll all work out in the end" without having ANY evidence to back up this belief.

Makes me so easy to screw over, eh?

:: And that's all she wrote 1:03 PM [+] ::
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