Bipolar Journalling:
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:: Friday, January 27, 2012 ::
Nuts to that.
Sometimes I wish I were a man.
This isn't about me being trapped in the wrong body or my finally coming out of the closet. I'm still heterosexual, and if I woke up tomorrow as a man, I'd be quite upset.
I mean that sometimes I wish I were born a man, with a man brain and a man attitude. I think I'd be able to make it further in the world if I were a man. I think that life would be better. I'm not saying "easier", but I think the quality of it would be improved.
For instance, being the eldest male child in my family would certainly make a lot of difference when it came to my grandparents. My late grandmother would've adored me (as I would've been the first grandson) and my grandfather wouldn't keep mixing me and my sister up (Come to that, so wouldn't all my other relatives). I doubt he'd mix up me and my younger brother either. My parents, I think, would have given me more support.
My male need for achievement would've probably resulted in a much better academic showing, and consequently, job success. I would've been more confident, more outspoken. I'd be in a committed long term relationship, if not married, since I'd call the shots in it. I would've been taller (probably) and my intelligence attractive, rather than threatening (you'd think I'm exaggerating, but I was told in JC once by someone I had a crush on that he didn't like girls who were smarter than him). My standoffishness would be seen as independence, not coldness. I would be zany, not weird. Stoic, not emotionless.
I would've been a doctor. Or a lawyer. Or in a higher position in whatever job I eventually chose to do. I'd be driving and own a car, while working towards full ownership of an apartment. I'd be earning more than I do now, of course. NS would've taught me how to discipline myself, and would contribute to my "work experience", as irrelevant as it might have been to my current vocation. Thanks to that, I'd also have an instant conversation starter with male peers in my early twenties.
Losing weight would be a cinch, failing which, no one would look askance at me, no one would tut and no one would ever mistake me for being pregnant. And even if they called me fat, I wouldn't care because it wouldn't matter to me. I'd be able to eat as much as I want and have people (relatives in particular) admiringly say that I had a [i]healthy[/i] appetite, rather than voicing the awkward observation that I "eat a lot for a girl".
Speaking of which...
I'd know for sure if I was doing well at a game or a sport, instead of wondering whether I was good compared to the many girls who don't play it, or the girls who sometimes play it, or the girls who play as often as boys. People would feel less of a need to give me a watered down version of ... whatever it is that's violent or rough.
I wouldn't feel the need to be romanced or rescued or taken care of, because I would do the romancing and rescuing, AND it would be acceptable / applauded instead of emasculating. I wouldn't feel so hurried about having children because I could continue siring them well into my 60s. My dating pool would open up more as I got older, and unmarried at 40, I would be a bachelor, an appellation with far better street cred.
People would respect my singlehood as a personal choice, rather than question it by suggesting that I'm being picky or "left on the shelf" because no one wants me. I'd have to be a pretty awful specimen of a male to have it said of me...But being female is all the criteria I need for others to believe it.
If I mentioned that I wanted children, it would be statistically more attractive to the opposite sex than daunting. Extrapolating on this, if I accidentally and unfortunately got someone knocked up, raising the child on my own would be more socially accepted, noble even, than if it was the other way around. Come to think of it, it'd be easier for me to hide secret children if I were a man.
Don't get me wrong - I love being a woman. I love how I jiggle when I run and how my voice sounds when I sing. I'm also thankful for the ability to carry around a foetus for nine months because I believe it'll be an amazing journey with my child that I'd never be able to take as a man.
However, I do think that I would've made a better man. Of course I'll never know. It's entirely possible I'd end up being an unemployed bum who spends all day on the computer, thinking that I'd have made more of my life as a woman. But right now, as I'm waiting for my long hair to dry and cramping due to my child bearing ability?
I really wish I were a man. :P
:: And that's all she wrote 5:46 PM [+] ::
3 comments
3 Comments:
Now I really wish I am a man too!
if you were a columnist, you could achieve a couple of the aforementioned.
one, it'd cast a wider net so to speak. guys who aren't intimidated by your intelligence would be scrambling to get your number.
two, it'd probably pay better. ergo owning a car, an apartment, and that bigass diamond wouldn't seem quite so darn impossible.
do try.
I don't know where to start, at my age.
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