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:: Monday, May 17, 2010 ::
Postsecret
I have lots and lots of secrets that people will never know and the reason why I loved PostSecret so much was that I felt connected to all these other people who are compelled to confess their secrets behind the mask of anonymity.
I too wish I had the courage to write what I feel on a post-card and paste it somewhere public for all the world to see, but even though nobody may recognise my handwriting, I am afraid of speaking my secrets in the fear that somehow... by writing them down, they become more real?
It's easy to pretend something isn't true or that it never happened when it's not staring you in the face all day long or if nobody else knows about it.
Even the mere act of shouting it into a deep hole brings it into the world and gives it life, but sometimes...
Sometimes I feel it bubbling so close to the surface that I just want to say it and be rid of it. I fancy, perhaps that by doing this, the obsession, the secret will somehow go away and leave me alone.
It's a persistent little bugger - it resisted my attempts to give it away to God, though honestly, I don't know what God would do with such a secret. It benefits neither me nor Him. If anything, it's a sad reminder of how unfaithful I've been to Him.
Still I try, everyday, in the hopes that somehow, some day there'll be nothing left to give.
:: And that's all she wrote 5:49 PM [+] ::
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