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:: Friday, May 30, 2014 ::

Why I do what I do

Truth: I am a narcissist. 

Worse, I am a narcissist with extrovert tendencies. This means I enjoy talking to people because I get to hear the sound of my own magnificence. I get a contact high from this. I'm happy. I enjoy talking to people. But I get upset or impatient with people who don't seem like they're listening or look like they don't care about what I have to say. 

When this happens, I have no interest in talking to them. I shut off and withdraw because I know they won't care about what I have to say anyway. And then I start to dislike them. Who do they think they are?

However, because I generally try to be nice, this manifests in me becoming a two-faced ....hypocrite. I smile and am generally amiable towards people who've shown a lack of interest in me but I also start watching out for their flaws. I watch for their slip ups. I wait for them to crumble. All the while smiling. 

All this because they weren't interested in what I had to say. Or didn't look interested enough. Ask me why I don't pursue friendships? Well, this is the very reason. They didn't listen to me. 

:: And that's all she wrote 7:38 PM [+] ::
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