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:: Monday, October 09, 2006 ::

If life were a game...

The Good:

Everyone would be perfect. There would be no ugly people.
Everyone would have the same starting point.
There are online guides to help you on your way to "Ruler of the World" status.
There would be an "undo" button, or the very least, the last saved point.
People who become too powerful would be nerfed.
Life v.2 would have some of the bugs from the previous version worked out.
There are only that many ways to win the game.
You never die for real.
Learning a skill merely requires killing monsters and pushing a button.
You can be anything you want to be.
You remember your last life.
Gods are still people like you, except with admin powers.
You can make friends with gods.
You can hack yourself into 1337dom.
Every illness has a cure.

The Bad:

Saying the wrong thing could quite possibly get you killed.
There are only that many ways to win a game.
Once you reach the top there's nothing else to do. Until Life v.3 comes out.
Someone might hack into your life.
When you ask yourself: "Is this all there is to my life?" , the answer is inevitably and unfortunately "Yes".
If your processor/modem is slow, you find people zipping around you at double speed. Worse, you suddenly lose time and don't even know it.
And if your 3D graphics card isn't up to scratch, people don't move their feet when they walk.
Even if you manage to kill your arch-nemesis, he respawns.
Trolls, noobs, flamers and lamers.
You can't sleep.
All food tastes like chicken.
Your friend beats you with the butt of his rifle/hilt of his sword just to get your attention.
Corpse-humping.
If you never get good at the game, it's a pretty sucky life.

The Questionable:

Animal rights activists don't exist.
Everyday involves some kind of fighting.
Pushing up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start gives you more lives.
A regular day's work would involve camping at a monster spawn site and dragging pelts to the market place.
Your sex no longer determines your orientation or your gender identity.
Everyone sorta looks the same. You often mistake someone for another.
You just suddenly pop into existence, fully-grown. You have no family.
There are very few women around.
And you're not even sure they're REAL women.
But it doesn't matter, because no sex. (No STDS.)
Or vulgarities. (Good, clean fun.)

Labels: Humour, Lists, Pop Culture

:: And that's all she wrote 11:37 AM [+] ::
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