A dream / The Ultimate Fan-Boy Otaku Fest / Dream a little dream / Organization. / What if Bella was ugly? / Tweelight / So cry me a river. / Find out who has blcked or deleted you! / My Sassy Girl / Batman goes on holiday /

:: Wednesday, February 03, 2010 ::

It's 2010.

I haven't blogged for ages for reasons... well, that are more like excuses really. I started the blog as a means to express my thoughts no matter how random they were because I've enjoyed writing on an electric medium since I got my first laptop ages ago.

Over the years my thoughts got slightly less random, more purposefully entertaining. There was a separate blog for the really dark thoughts that could not be surfaced in public - then that was exorcised. After which I started writing about events, carefully, carefully writing about my life. I didn't realise that it hadn't started then. And believe me, it was a bit of a shock when it did because I discovered how little time I really had...

So, it's been five years, but my writing has petered off significantly. Why? Life changes and I've lost the ability to sit down and wax lyrical about anything. Or perhaps it's merely that my life is full of half-completed projects, which is why I knew I could never be a serious full-time writer/novelist. It wouldn't happen. I'd write about half the book, get bored and then pursue some other interest.

Perhaps this blog is one of those half-completed projects. Then again, I never intended it to have an end. (Which, by the way, this isn't. I really am NOT ending my blog just yet. Maybe one day, when life gets to a point that I feel I don't need to think or muse anymore. Like that'll ever happen.)

What's new? Nothing much besides the fact I'm older, somewhat but not much wiser... Possibly more bitter, a smidgen more cynical and a whole lot angrier with life, the universe, everything. The feeling comes and goes though - sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping a lid on my emotions, sometimes I feel... nothing at all, sometimes I'm even happy but on the whole...

... I feel like this isn't what I wanted my life to be. But unfortunately we don't get redos, I can't reload from a save point, can't quit the game, can't switch to another game...

...so each and every moment of my life I'm beginning to feel the inexorably weight of decision and choice, of time wasting away, slowly taking its toll on my life. I constantly feel like I need to do something, even though I would be just as happy doing nothing.

Bubble bubble, toil and trouble.

Anyway, first post of 2010. Hi y'all. I'm still alive.

The End.

:: And that's all she wrote 9:18 PM [+] ::
0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home